Paranoia;

looking back at the past now, i think i have caused quite a fair share of trouble wherever i went... i mean it's only in times when i lose my voice do i actually realise how peaceful it is without much noise from me... i get to think better and more clearly lar... and i realise how much i've been neglecting god in my life... i mean... lizzie told me the other day abt some stuff but it took me a hell lot of peace and quiet to fully realise what she said and let it sink in deep.... my rashness when i'm not sick has really gotten me into quite a lot of trouble and i hope that even after i get well, my brain will function before my mouth, like what it is doing now as my throat hurts too much to say alot.. i guess i also thought abt some other stuff but there's still one very difficult thing which i have yet to figure out... but that i have to figure myself cause i noee that no one would be able to figure it out for me..when felicia mentioned confirmation yesterdaee, it struck me how near i was to it and how unprepared i really am.. it's not like i dunno my bible stuff or anything, but i'm not very sure that i'll be able to lead myself on the right path of faith... i've seen many people stray away from the church after they are confirmed and i'm afraid that i will be like them and i know that people say that we should join a ministy after confirmation, but does that really help? and is it really necessary? i guess these questions will remain hanging there until the answers appear...

Labels: church, reflection